Tuesday, February 3, 2009

The kind of fun in the sun that only a Folger's can full of coke and a diet of laxative tea can afford!

I always wonder why promotions for swimwear always emphasize the hot, tingling sex that is wearing a swimsuit around your community pool (snort).

"It's adult swim, baby, you can do laps in my lane (just try to avoid the floating band-aid, lover)."

Putting on a thong-kini is not going to make us into dangerous, poolside jaguars, forever lit by sunsets. I think most of us are buying a swimsuit principally because it enables one to join in water-oriented fun, unencumbered. I have seldom ever seen swimsuit advertising oriented towards the social aspect of wearing a swimsuit-- but wouldn't you want to buy a suit that had connotations of friends, sports and free-spiritedness?

image from Sarah Lee

Why not some athletic-types (all looking awesome in their swim-stuff) precipitously poised to dive memorably off a jetty? Now I want lime-green bottoms!

image from elee1147

Sure, they're hot and model-y but, they play volleyball (hey, I love volleyball!) and you need a swimsuit for that (oo-- I need a swimsuit!). I'm telling ya-- hanging out and having fun will sell more swimsuits than parted mouths and half-closed eyes! And for real-- when you have a friend who is too self-conscious to get (or wear) a swimsuit, you feel sad for them because they are disallowing themselves from having fun with you.

image from leightaylor

Love it. This lady is all about fun. And she looks pretty fantastic having fun as well. You know who doesn't look like she's having fun? The chick in this photo (which spurred me to write this blog entry in the first place):

Sorry if you just threw up in your mouth a little bit like I almost did. While idly perusing some swimsuits online, I was quite shocked when I saw this photo-- there are others, as well (gotta have those multiple product views)! How could this image ever make me want to buy a swimsuit? Why couldn't they rescue this poor girl from Auschwitz first before they made her pose in a bikini bottom? Nothing about this image makes me feel that the product they are offering promises fun, sports, sun, social engagement or even the grayest hint of sexual attraction. W, T, and then also the F.

I'm sorry to have abused your eyes like that. Here, let's all have a Marilyn chaser:

Curvy, smiling, and attracting the mens. Let's get us a swimsuit like that.



madam0wl, a.k.a Sandra said...

Yikes! We should all post pictures of ourselves looking happy & normal in swimsuits. I think I have like ONE somewhere, in which I'm curvy, smiling and being hugged by my then husband-to-be.

Sal said...

THANK YOU for the Marilyn chaser. Might've had a fainting spell otherwise. Did love the prancing preggers lady, though.

Sal said...

P.S. Am I dense? Is there an e-mail address for you somewhere around here? If not, can you drop me a note at alreadypretty@gmail.com so we can correspond outside comments? ;)

Eyeliah @ stylesymmetry.com said...

Ewwww!!!! yes, that is not the right sales technique to work on me. Plus I know if it fits her, it won't fit me!

The Clothes Horse said...

Marilyn knows how to rock a swimsuit! Ellegirl US used to do some really cool swimsuit spreads...you know before that mag came to an end. I'm still in mourning over it...

Spandexpony said...

Sandra: awwww!!! I think that all of us style bloggers should have a swimsuit photo tagging meme, but I don't know how many would actually participate!

Sal: Hell yeah for Marilyn! And also, yes--- my email address is on my header, but admittedly, I rarely check it. A for real email is coming forthwith!

Caroline said...

Gah! I so agree.