Here, my quick, cheap and dirty guide to (nay, last-minute brainstorm of) half-assed Halloween costumes.
Choices and Lifestyles.
Crappy clothes + eyeliner-drawn stubble = Hobo
Black skinny jeans + black turtleneck + book + cigarette = Beatnik
Suspenders + straw hat + pipe + noncommittal attitude = Conscientious Objectioner
Got a sheet?
White sheet + one hole = Cyclops Ghost (or Amish Bedlinen)
Sheet + red cup = Frat boy
For the Politically Minded.
Red blazer + red skirt/dress + brown hair + glasses = Sarah Palin
Blazer + coordinating skirt/pants + blonde hair = Hillary Clinton
Capris + white knee-socks + ankle boots + button-up + books + belt-as-bookstrap = Child that has been Left Behind
Got a bike?
Short-sleeved, white oxford + black pants + bicycle = Mormon
Entirely red outfit + bicycle = Menstrual cycle?
Got a box?
Corporate Award. Attach yourself to someone who has demonstrated long-term, exceptional adherence to best practices.
Box + Colorful Marker Job + Nerdosity = Rubiks Cube
Box + Milk Art + Missing Person ad on the side = Milk Carton
Box + Liberal application of swirly pink paint + Sheet wrapped around yourself = Box of Tissues