UGH! Or, the story of why I never buy anything online.

Why should it be that one of my all-time favorite brands is one which I rarely ever buy anything from?  Oh yes-- that's it-- because it's J.Crew and I'm a chickadee of simple means.  But, I got in my email box today a notice that all sale items were an additional 30% off until midnight, so I gamely picked out a few things, then deleted almost all of them from my cart except for these lovely Tretorns...

The white rubber and gold-inflected canvas are perfect for summer anything, and at the "sale on sale" price, only $38.  OK.  Then, my interfering mind chimed in.  It said, "Do you really need more shoes?"  "Can you find something more practical to spend $38 on?"  "You've never even seen these shoes before, and there are some that you have been wanting for longer.  As long as you're venturing to spend $38, why not put it towards something you've actually been wanting?"

The shoes I've been wanting are another pair of Toms... During the 2008 election, I did a lot of work for the Campaign for Change, and found it meet to show my political proclivities with a pair of natural canvas Toms that said "Vote" on one shoe, and had a graphic of a donkey on the other.  Now that the election is over (I think it was my shoes that swung the vote), it seems silly to wear them around now.  I haven't until recently, when I found them under the couch and decided to try them on again.  I took them on a walk around the neighborhood.  These are damn comfortable shoes, readers, better than flip-flops.  Having examined it from every angle, there really is no way to resurrect this dated style, and so a new pair of Toms is in order.

Behold, the burlap pair.  I love solid colors that are highly textured, and this definitely fits the bill.  But, I did read some bad reviews about the burlap coming apart, and then I decided to look into getting the natural canvas pair (none in my size) or the gray pair (is gray a falling star in the color-trends world yet?) or the blue pair (too mannish) or the red pair (not versatile enough).  I returned to the Tretorns.

But wait!  I thought-- I have a gift card to Urban Outfitters.  Maybe they carry Toms?  Or maybe they have some slip-ons that would be just as cute as the ones my friend has with whales all over them?  Yes, Virginia, they do!

They're the right color, and they have this amazing deer print on them.  God knows I'm a sucker for deer.  Plus, I'm going on vacation soon with a few friends, one of them has a pathological fear of deer.  I could wear the shoes and it would be a hilarious joke for us all to enjoy, and I could terrorize her with them all week long.  And then again, my annoying inner voice said, "But aren't deer more like a Christmas thing?"  "Is this too tongue-in-cheek?"  "Tretorns are so classy.  These.... aren't." 

So I returned to the Tretorns.  But they have laces, I thought... I love the appeal of just throwing ones shoes on as you skip out of your bungalow down the pier.  But Tretorns are sexy.  I returned to the Tretorns.  I pried my credit card out of my wallet, all the time saying, "Hm... this is a week's worth of parking and two really good lunches worth of shoes."  I entered my information.  I entered the coupon code.  And then--- what the what??? I was timed out of my session!  I frantically re-did the whole process, only to find that by the time I got to the checkout, the coupon code had expired, and the shoes were no longer $38 with free shipping, but now $55.  And as long as they're $55, I may as well buy a pair of Toms and use a $5 off coupon code from RetailMeNot.  Or maybe I'll just use my gift card to Urban Outfitters.  Or maybe I'll just see if I can be happy with what I already have....

AKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Anyone else have these problems???

Yours,

Elissa.