If seeing something, merely for the opportunity to see something which defies description isn't enough for you, then know that it is also a laugh-riot brimming with creative-because-we're-broke special effects. Lastly, the costumes provide plenty of inspiration, making me wish I were brusque enough to snap pictures in a movie theater, because there really are no suitable-for-the-sake-of-discussing-fashion clips online.
Submitted, for your perusal are a grouping of Oxford shoes (my current drool), 1 picked for each girl, and every one under $60 (resourceful-because-I'm-broke).
We begin with Mac, who, despite looking to be an American size 6-8, is said to be the "fat one". She's constantly eating, tortured by her appetite. Necessarily, she dies first, pulling a watermelon out of a well. I've picked the above pictured oxfords for her, because the stud detailing is rude and childlike looking, as though someone merely pushed thumbtacks into their shoes, perfectly befitting Mac's impulsive and haphazard nature. But they are, however, still cute and trendy; Mac was last seen wearing a dolphin-shorted romper.
Prof makes an unassuming entrance in some baggy, pleated Bermuda shorts, of the type that every foreign exchange student in the 80's was known to wear with medical-looking knee-high socks with peregrine brand-names printed at the tops. Prof, however won me over with her supersized, perfectly round glasses frames. I bequeath unto her these Lahaies, in hopes of seeing her wear them in a reprised knee-highs with shorts combo, possibly with suspenders and a sequinned tube top. Everyone gets a tube top in this fantasy, even the dorks. I don't discriminate.
Gorgeous, of course, is the main character, the Lauren Conrad of the bunch if you will. She sports a gauzy white tunic with matching white flares for most of the film, pulling out her compact from time to time to powder her nose while her girlfriends playfully rue her. If there were any oxford that I'd like to see with a flowing white, gauzy ensemble, it would be this suede/sparkly pair. Urge to buy, rising.
Fantasy is a daydreamer, a catastrophizer, an airhead. But, as Prof mentions early in the movie, Fantasy's capriciousness is also her greatest strength. What better shoe than one that reminds one as little as possible that one's feet are indeed, on terra firma? And while these shoes may not be useful for say, working construction, they are most certainly an asset to a wardrobe full of floaty skirts, dirndl vests and lockets.
These nearly came home with me on a recent trip to Forever 21, but as I stood in line, I noticed my hands becoming increasingly covered in glitter. This may not be a problem for some, but for me, if my hands are covered in glitter, there better also be a glow-in-the-dark retainer in my mouth. Unlike myself, Melody can't seem to avoid things she loves, even if they may end up killing her. Did I mention the blood-thirsty piano? As the musical one of the bunch, she entertains (herself) to death, much like the Gloved One. And while Melody is a conservative and feminine dresser, every girl needs something fab to wear to their final recital.
Sweet is the fundamental girl-stereotype of the bunch. She wears lots of florals, and her trademark characteristic is her --yes, sweetness-- but also her love of doing housework. I can hear your grumbles from here. But she does get to wear a lovely, ruffled, pinafored apron the entire time, and finally meets her fate in a nasty confrontation with a dolly. Not only is the pattern on this puppy feminine and sugary sweet, the shape and the leather laces are simple and unchallenging, like young Sweet herself. It is interesting to note that the back heel of this shoe has a logo that looks like an open, toothy mouth, sort of like the logo to the movie has.
What's this you say? Not an oxford? Well this shoe I've saved for my favorite character, Kung Fu, and she, like this shoe, is another breed. She opens unyielding jars, she runs up walls, and she kicks evil cats in their faces. That, and she spends the last half of the movie in a pair of blue poka-dot, side-tie bikini bottoms and a boy tank (she lost her skirt in a fight with a demonic axe) and doesn't miss a beat. For her, she gets the only flat, closed-toe footwear appropriate for such unyielding badassery. I only pray that she pair them with some cropped, skinny trousers and a tie-front, sleeveless gingham blouse. Or possibly a gigantic blazer and a sequinned tube top-- like I told ya. Not discriminating.
Til next time,