Shady!!

Heeeerreeees Johnny!

Shirt: TJ Maxx.  Tiered Skirt:  TJ Maxx.  Shoes:  JC Penney.  Sunglasses:  80spurple.

What the hell?  Why yes, these are the third pair of sunglasses that I sprung for on a dark and stormy night.  As some comedian other than myself once said, it's nice sometimes, to shop online on a head full of wine, because, come a few days later, your mailbox is full of mystery presents you forgot were coming to ya.

Score!  I'm loving these, and I love to flip them up on people instead of guilelessly removing them from my face.  You see, these sunglasses have evolved.  Speaking of "score!" and "evolved", I'm happy to say that this entire look, head to toe, was $46. 

I broke.

Also speaking of "evolving", the guy who runs a sketch comedy group in town has asked if I would write a skit for the show... I'm super flattered and pumped as hell--- visions of skits revolving around texting while driving, super-annoying cats and Bombshell McGee are floating through my head-- if it could be said that a skinhead chick with a neck tattoo floats through one's head.

And now, off to cogitate...

Yours,

Elissa.

Nailed.

Nothing makes me feel "prepared" quite like having my nails done.  I have to be prepared for this week, so I set out to the nearest nail place, armed with a bottle of orange polish. 

 OPI In My Back Pocket, Espadrilles:  Colin Stuart.

Finding none of the usual joints open on a Sunday, I passed a Wal-Mart that happened to have a nail place in it, and decided to see if a) it was open, b) if it was cheap, and c) if it might be the place to go in the future.  Well, it was open and it was cheap.  As for condition C?  I have never had such a painful and traumatic nail experience.  I feel like a POW.  I was too shocked by the situation to think about asking not to pay for it (and also I didn't want to embarrass the guy, who otherwise was friendly and nice), but damn.  I need to go back there and say something, because even now it still hurts, and I can't have it interfering with my game...!  I just joined an Ultimate Frisbee league and I have a game tomorrow... I need all fingers present and accounted for!

Have you ever had a bad salon experience?? What did you do about it?

Yours,

Elissa.

Jerry Orbach can wait, I have presents from the thrift store.

I can't say that I "don't do pants", but for someone who lives in Columbus, OH --home to both Abercrombie jeans, Express jeans, and Midwestern people-- it could be said that I don't do pants.

Timex bag:  Target via Grandview Weekend Outlet.  Scarf:  Thrifted.  Jacket:  Macy's.  Tank:  Urban Outfitters.  Pants:  Old Navy.  Shoes:  JC Penney.

Today, I do pants.  The last time I wore black flares was in 2001, when I went on a trip to England and-- for versatility's sake and ease of packing, the only bottoms I bought were a pair of stretchy black flares (shudder) and a pair of UFO pants-- silver.  The rave scene came late to my corner of the universe, and by the time I got to the U.K., I could do some glow-stick poi that could blow your mind-- if anyone there wasn't so past 1995.  I'll have to dig those pictures up, if I can find any where I'm not being obscene.... Americans.

Nowadays, my black flares are crafted of the finest denim Old Navy has to offer in their clearance department, and they are perfect for days when I wake up, look at the alarm clock, and say-- how can I be washed and decently non-naked in the next 6 minutes? Time crunches, my friends.

I really have to remember not to eat seafood anymore.  The last several times I have, I've become violently ill, and yet it's siren song lures me to its lurid pleasures every time I dry back out.  Last night, after I performed (once again), I sought late-night refuge in some leftover soup from the Thai place... leftover seafood soup.  The first half of today was wobbly to say the least. 

As soon as I arrived home, I jumped in the chair and flipped on Law & Order.  My sweetness pulled into the driveway and said, "Jerry Orbach can wait.  I have surprises from the thrift store."  Behold:

A needlepoint JFK  in a scrolly frame... I can definitely picture my mom having this on her wall as a teenager!  Although needlecraft is not necessarily the domain of those between the ages of 11 and 80... Who do you think had this on their wall?

The sweetest bag of all time!!!  I'm only mildly into astrology as a practice, but as a decorative motif, I am bananas.  If it's zodiac-related, I'm hooked.  Couple that with the "Love is..." style art, collage-y look, unconventional wording and the fact that my own little sign is right on top, I am smitten...

Here's a wider shot of the bag... we've got Cancer, Virgo and Aries here... oh my sweetness and his fancy taste!!

Til next time,

Yours,

Elissa.

Shoes, pills, eagles.

Vest:  H&M in Amsterdam.  Dress:  Forever 21.  Bag:  Thrifted.  Shoes:  Nine West.  Cuff:  Cedar Point.

I received a nice compliment today from the Fed Ex guy, who has told me that every day-- when our paths intersect as I go across the street for a coffee-- he notices my shoes.  Any trace of incredulity in my mind was assuaged as he began to rattle off my shoes:  "The gold ones that lace, the ones that have lions on them, the silver sandals with seahorses..." Amazing!  Or weird, depending which Flickr groups you belong to.

It's just the nature of the beast that accessories are cheaper than clothes-- well, my beast.  Yours might be different.  Part of my problem is I don't like to buy inexpensive clothing because it never fits (except at Forever 21... curious...), so I buy clothes almost never.  Therefore, I always find that the most interesting part of my get-up is typically the accessories, but I don't really devote many photos to them-- I think it embarasses me to put my stuff "under the microscope".  Ah well... voila the second of my three pairs of sunglasses.... the still catty, though less markedly so, tortoiseshell pair.

Shades:  80spurple.  Ring:  Target

The ring is clear acrylic (one of my favorite ring-types) filled with what looks like pills.  I love the pukey pink color and the subversiveness of its contents.  Not shown, due to my non-microscopic tendencies, is my cuff which I got at Cedar Point, an amusement park near here, when I was 12.  It's tooled with a U.S. flag and an eagle, and looks pretty bad-ass.  I'm patriotic only in the most spiritual of senses (maybe a topic for later discussion?), but I do love American symbols-- what's to hate about a good star spangling?  Though wearing them is another topic entirely, and one usually met by derision-- seriously.  Gauge how you feel next time you pass someone wearing a shirt with an American flag on it.  But having it on my little cuff is kind of low-key and possibly subversive as well.  And if anyone asks, I have a pet eagle.

Til later,

Elissa.

Case of the Confounding Dress

Dress:  Banana Republic.  Shoes:  Steve Madden.  Shades:  80s Purple.

I don't know what it is with this dress.  It and I have a confounding relationship.  It was actually picked out for me by my Sweetness, and-- as the compliments that flow from him whenever I wear it would lead me to believe-- it's probably my best look evarrr.  But the thing is like a hologram.  I love the color, and in front of the mirror at home, it's a-ok.  But throughout the day, I'll catch myself in reflections and the frumptastic, overly-boobish, pooch-exemplifying nature of this dress flashes maliciously back at me.  In fact, as I was driving home, I thought-- that's it!  This thing is going straight to Goodwill.  I'll take outfit photos and entitle my blog post RIP Nightmare Dress.  Then I took a couple of photos and thought-- eh, this thing isn't so bad!  Maybe I judged too quickly!  And that is the ordeal I go through every time I wear this dress.

Probably it's because it's out of my normal range of thing-wearing, in that it ties further up than I'm accustomed, highlighting the girls, which typically I try to keep as streamlined as possible.  Also, I kind of hate jersey for its clingy properties, and typically go for wovens.  So maybe, if I put Sal-like logic to the problem, it doesn't matter what I actually look like in it-- its outside of my boundaries in a way that makes me not feel my best when I wear it.  So I toss it out on its ear.

Something that is going right today??

Hot shades!

These Wang-esque cat-eye shades.  The other night, I was paralyzed in front of the computer with 4 pairs of sunglasses in my shopping cart, but with 2 sunglasses worth in my Paypal.  None of the pairs would budge and I resigned myself to the sad thought that I may, in fact, just bite the bullet and buy 4 pairs of sunglasses.  When, lo and behold, an Etsy order came in right at the moment for the exact amount of all 4 and the "buy" button was gleefully clicked-- though not without finally ruling out one pair.  I don't know about you, but it's easier for me to not spend money when I actually have some.  Hmph!  So this is the first of three-- I can't wait to present them all to you in moving photo-essay format...

Til then,

Elissa.

Exhausted!

Let's take a break and indulge in some cat porn.  Why?  In short, I am mega tired and have my fingers in too many pies at the moment.  Writing is how I like to unwind, so it annoys me that I don't even have time to do that-- I'm looking at the clock going--- mmm okay, that's 5 hours and 34 minutes of sleep, if I don't take a shower...

So while I figure out some good ways to sleep while awake, let's meditate on my own little kitty here, so very good at what she does. 

Maybe "cat porn" should be a regular feature...

I just got a box full of all the sunglasses of my fantasies, so expect to see them on me shortly, oh so shortly.

Yours,

Elissa.